The Journal · Debut
Debut Planning Checklist: Timeline, 18 Roses and 18 Candles
A month-by-month checklist for an 18th birthday debut, with the traditions explained and what to send guests.
By The RSVP Studio
A debut is part birthday party, part formal ball, with traditions that need people, rehearsals and a program. Here's a checklist that works backwards from the day, plus the 18s explained.
The debut traditions
- 18 Roses: eighteen men, usually family and close friends, each dance with the debutante and give her a rose. Her father traditionally has the first or the last dance.
- 18 Candles: eighteen women each light a candle and share a wish or a memory.
- 18 Treasures: eighteen guests each give a meaningful gift, often with a short message.
- The cotillion: a formal dance with the debutante and a group of friends, rehearsed for weeks.
Some families add their own 18s, like 18 bills or 18 shots. Keep the program to what matters to you. Each 18 adds time, and the dinner has to fit in somewhere.
6 to 12 months before
- Set your budget and a rough guest count.
- Choose the date and book the venue.
- Pick a theme or motif colours.
- Book a coordinator if you're having one.
- Book the caterer, photographer and videographer, and hair and makeup.
4 to 6 months before
- Choose your gown, and a second look if you're changing for the party.
- Write down your 18 Roses, 18 Candles and 18 Treasures, and ask each person.
- Choose your cotillion dancers and book a choreographer.
- Send your Save the Date if many guests are travelling.
2 to 3 months before
- Send your invitations, with an RSVP deadline.
- Start cotillion rehearsals.
- Plan the program with your host or emcee.
A debut website keeps it all in one place: the program, the dress code, the lists of your 18s and the RSVP form. Our Debut design is free, and Debut Issue turns your night into a magazine cover. Guests reply on the site and you see every answer in one list.
1 month before
- Close RSVPs and follow up with anyone who hasn't replied. Our guide to tracking RSVPs works the same way for debuts.
- Confirm every 18 Roses, Candles and Treasures participant, and tell them their cue.
- Final gown fitting.
1 to 2 weeks before
- Give your caterer the final headcount.
- Finish the seating plan. Seat your 18s near the stage so they can get up quickly when they're called. Mesa, our free seating chart maker, works for debuts too.
- Print an alphabetical guest list for the entrance.
- Send your coordinator the final program.
On the day
A common order: the debutante's entrance, a prayer, welcome remarks, dinner, the cotillion, 18 Candles, 18 Treasures, 18 Roses ending with her father, then the party. Ask your emcee to keep each 18 moving. A long program is the usual reason debuts run late.
Frequently asked questions
What is the order of a debut program?
A common order is the debutante's entrance, a prayer, welcome remarks, dinner, the cotillion, 18 Candles, 18 Treasures, then 18 Roses ending with her father, and the party.
Who are the 18 Roses?
Eighteen men who matter to the debutante, usually family and close friends. Each dances with her and gives her a rose, and her father traditionally has the first or the last dance.
What is the difference between 18 Candles and 18 Treasures?
18 Candles are eighteen women who each light a candle and share a wish or a memory. 18 Treasures are eighteen guests who each give a meaningful gift, often with a short message.
When should debut invitations be sent?
Two to three months before the debut, with an RSVP deadline about a month before, so you can confirm your 18s and give the caterer a final count.
Make your debut invitation
- Build your own debut website for free. Start with a design, add the program and your 18s, and share one link.
- Have us make it for you. We design custom event websites, monograms and digital Save the Dates. Tell us about your debut and we'll reply within one business day.